Andrew Solomon (right, with his husband and son) discusses his book "Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity" on Fresh Air today.
He conducted studies on the relationships between parents and children when children have conditions that are alien to their parents, be it disability or children conceived in rape. He tells Terry Gross about how his research affected his own views on parenting and family:
People said to me, ‘But you are doing this book about all of these terrible things that have gone wrong for all of these families and surely doing that would have made you draw back from the project of having your own family?’ And I said, ‘But on the contrary, I felt that what the book was about is the fact that parents can love almost anyone who is presented to them as their child and that love has a compelling urgency to it that rises above any difficulty and I thought whoever my children turn out to be, I think I’ll be able to love them.’
photo via the New York Times
He’s very happy. He doesn’t see it like we see it. He’s living his life one day at a time, one moment at a time. Events keep happening. We keep doing things. We take him everywhere with us. His life is full, robust, got a lot of people around it. He’s been the way he is for 35 years or so. And he’s never known it another way, so he’s doing great. We’re very happy to have our spiritual guide along with us. He doesn’t say much, but he speaks volumes with his eyes and with his movements and by the feeling that comes from him. He’s just a blessing. He’s given our lives a lot of depth.
I don’t think there’s one path. I think every woman faces different choices. But it’s tough because biologically, there’s a range where women can have biological children and if that’s what you want to do, then you are going to have to make some tradeoffs — either then or later.
— Anne-Marie Slaughter, on the childbearing choices women make.
Michigan State University surveyed more than 700 employers seeking to hire recent college graduates. Nearly one-third said parents had submitted resumes on their child’s behalf, some without even informing the child. One-quarter reported hearing from parents urging the employer to hire their son or daughter for a position. Four percent of respondents reported that a parent actually showed up for the candidate’s job interview.
— Bring Your Parent To Work Day: So-called helicopter parents have hit the workplace, phoning employers to advocate on behalf of their adult children. Human resource managers say more parents are trying to negotiate salary and benefits and are even sitting in on job interviews.