1. as requested: breakup advice in a shareable format

    Do you have any tips for getting over a really lame breakup?
    Anonymous

    Yes, because I just did this very thing a few four months ago. We dated for almost two years. It was sudden. It sucked. I’m better now. I wasn’t for a long time. Here’s what I recommend:

    1. Email all of your friends and ask them to distract you around-the-clock for the next few weeks. They will do this. It will help. Say yes to everything. Let yourself try new things. Stay off the alcohol.

    2. Throw yourself into something new. It doesn’t matter what it is. I joined a 6am exercise class. We lift weights. Really heavy weights. It helped.

    3. Listen to this.

    4. Tell your coworkers. If they’re like my coworkers, they will a) bring you a plant b) listen to you and c) give you space

    5. Listen to this. (Specifically this) (And this) Remind yourself that great art comes from pain. Also lean on your good friends. Take a trip. Visit people you love. I went to Western Massachusetts and Washington DC and New York and Boston. I went bowling and running and hiking and rockclimbing and volunteered and went to house parties and biked and picked strawberries and wrote and did a million other things. The distractions helped. (So did therapy.)

    6. Know that you will get through this. Don’t spend all of your time on the Internet. Go outside. Do something outside of your comfort zone.

    7. Hugs, anonymous Internet friend. I know what this feels like. You will get through this.

    -Mel

  2. breakup

    relationships