1. When it’s a young boy, [and they say] ‘Yes sir, no sir’ that’s okay. But when they say, ‘Young lady’ or ‘How’s my girlfriend?’ [it] means you are old and disgusting and ‘I wouldn’t screw you for anything in the world.’ I get so angry. Or when they say, ‘You know, even though you’re 79, I’d still do you.’ And you want to say, ‘You know, you may be 40, I wouldn’t touch you if you were the last man on Earth.’ How dare you, you disgusting person, would think I would want to go near you.

    — Joan Rivers on language. [full interview here]

  2. joan rivers